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Writing Samples
Band 6

The given pie chart illustrates us the causes of wordwild land degradation also the table below

The given pie chart illustrates us the causes of wordwild land degradation also the table below
The given pie chart illustrates the causes of worldwide land degradation
also
Linking Words
 the table below is representative of how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Overview, It was estimated that the four main reasons existed about less productivity in
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
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. The most significant of them was over-grazing by animals(35%)The second reason was related to deforestation with 30% .
furthermore
Linking Words
 , over-cultivation allocated 28% of that destruction.All in
all
Add a comma
,all
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 there were some obscure reasons which had the least effect in
this
Linking Words
 chart.
Such
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 causes impressed three different regions in the world at the same time. Europe had as much as 9.8% of degradation own to deforestation
whereas
Linking Words
 ,
this
Linking Words
 impact in
north
Correct your spelling
North
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America and Oceania was much less. The effect of over-grazing in Oceania dramatically increased among the two other countries.
Instead
Linking Words
 , the result of over-cultivation in Oceania was zero. In conclusion,
according
Add the preposition
toaccording
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 the table , Europe had the most contribution to damaging agricultural land.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 90%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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