IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #modes #transport #travel #work #european #city #information #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the proportion of
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
transportation
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
utilized for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 in a European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. In brief, using
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 in 2000 was the highest position,
whereas
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 who went by
car
 in 1960 was the least popular of the 4. Moving to the details, bus, bike and foot showed similar patterns, with both gradually
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 from 1960 to 2000.
However
, there was
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
 increase from 20% to 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 between 1960 and 1980,
then
 sections of the bus in 2000 were about 10% lower.
In addition
,
foot
Add an article
the foot
a foot
show examples
 was in the top position in 1960 at nearly 30%, but it considerably dropped from 40% to 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 from 1960 to 2000, a fall of about 30%
for
Change preposition
over
show examples
 40 years. there was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 pattern for
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
,
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 became the second lowest percentage for transportation in
this
 city.
On the other hand
, the proportion of people who moved by
car
 dramatically incline from just over 5 % to
approximate
Replace the word
approximately
show examples
 20% between 1960 and 1980, and it was in top 2 position in 1980.
Furthermore
, there was
substantial
Add an article
a substantial
show examples
 rise in the rates of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
 users from 1980 to 2000, and it became the most popular transportation.
Submitted by shimamura0116 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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