IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many countries are spending a huge amount of money on supporting their competitors to take part in some worldwide competitions. Other argue that it would be better if these countries can spend money on the children to take part in sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #amount #money #competitors #part #competitions #children #sports
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's ,world most countries are focusing the worldwide competition. so it has become an integral part of the present world.
While
 proponents of the arguments are in favour. the opponents are completely against spending a huge of money on supporting their
competitors
 . In my opinion , focusing on both
children
's and
competitors
' funding is so important for the
country
's development. let's see elaborately in the below paragraph. To commence with , there are a number of arguments in favour of my belief . The most prominent one is that spending money on
competitors
 will develop the
country
's growth. The research conducted by Western Sydney University reveals that both are more important. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 For thinking about the future
children
's spending even important.
Secondly
 , encouraging
children
's sport often cause massive results in future.
On the other hand
 , critics may point out that one of the most common disadvantages of
competitors
' spending leads to
country
 development. But it works on a certain period of circumstances only.which can result in a number of serious Consequences.A survey conducted in the united states reveals that
competitors
 are the backbone of worldwide competition to keep the
country
 to a certain standard.
To conclude
, even when there are a lot of demerits to
competitors
' spending, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.In my point of view both the spendings are more important in order to develop the
country
 to keep it in the maximum position. To encourage the
children
's sport education wants to provide more facilities in schools and parks.The effective use of the facility should be promoted .
However
, its misuse should be condemned.
Submitted by murugadassbe92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: