Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Many
people
believe that modern
technology
has brought
people
together but others believe that
technology
has driven
people
apart. I think both of these are true sometimes but
mosty
Correct your spelling
most
technology
is good and
people
together more than apart. Nowadays there are many ways of
communicate
Change the verb form
communicating
show examples
with
technology
. If I went to live in another country
then
I can still speak with family and
friends
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. Everyone has
smartphones
and are communicate
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
with
people
you can call and send sms and
also
emails. Social media is
also
good for
communicate
Change the verb form
communicating
show examples
people
Change preposition
with people
show examples
many
people
are on social media and often all of
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
family and
friends
can communicate together and have the same thing to see maybe videos and
photo
Fix the agreement mistake
photos
show examples
shared too.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
there are new communications on
smartphones
like
whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
Whatsapp
and
also
facetime
snapchat
Change the capitalization
Snapchat
show examples
. These are things new on phones and
everybody
communicate
Change the verb form
communicates
show examples
all the time all over the world and is free
everybody
Change preposition
for everybody
show examples
.
This
is good.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
technology
has driven
people
apart. maybe some
people
are with all their time on the computer or with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
mobil
Correct your spelling
mobile
phone.
This
is not a good thing for
people
to make
friends
and
also
to speak with someone
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
Change the word
physically
show examples
. Sometimes when me and my
friends
are together in
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
or
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
everybody
is using
smartphones
, they are sending messages or making tweets or checking
facebook
Correct your spelling
Facebook
show examples
or even playing games. I don’t think
this
is good because
friends
should be together talking and not on
smartphones
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
you see
people
on
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
or trains or in town and
everybody
is with
technology
but nobody is talking with
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Submitted by me1090905 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
What to do next:
Look at other essays: