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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the percentage of difference in income between men and women from 1978 to 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of difference in income between men and women from 1978 to 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #difference #income #men #women #information #features #comparisons
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The given line graph illustrates the proportion of the
income
Use synonyms
 gap between
genders
Use synonyms
 in five different countries in the period of 30 years from 1978 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that there was a reduction in the percentage of the
income
Use synonyms
 gap between
genders
Use synonyms
, the only exception for that in Australia after 1998. The
income
Use synonyms
 of
genders
Use synonyms
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and the US is totally different but they have a similar trend. In 1978, the difference in
income
Use synonyms
 between gender was 48% in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and 32% in the US.
Then
Linking Words
 the figures decreased gradually to 41% in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and 37% in the US
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. The
income
Use synonyms
 gap between
genders
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 in France and UK was lower than that in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and the US. About 30 % and 18% were the gender different incomes in 1978 in France and UK, respectively. The numbers went down slightly in the next 20 years, with 26% in the UK and 16% in France.
By contrast
Linking Words
, starting at 17 % in the different
income
Use synonyms
 between gender, the figure for Australia witnessed a minimal decrease of 10% and remained unchanged in the next 5 years,
then
Linking Words
 reached a peak of about 25%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
Submitted by mtgngocanh on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, genders, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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