Topic: In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals believe that teaching a child is something when they put enough effort into, they might be able to obtain it. There are some concerns about the pros and cons of
this
message, which either can motivate and improve their confidence to overcome hardships or
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might create negative pressure and stress. The following essay will
be discussing
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
these mentioned issues. On one hand, a wise man used to say, "There ain't no
such
thing as a free lunch." The top priority is to let the next generation know that hard
work
guarantees
success
and has several advantages, including inspiring motivation and self-confidence.
Additionally
, a positive mindset can encourage a willingness to take on challenges and persist in the face of setbacks.
For example
, when learning a second language, which can be a challenging and time-consuming process, children must genuinely understand that hard
work
, not talent, plays a massive role in enhancing language proficiency. More importantly, children who believe in their ability to achieve anything are more likely to set ambitious goals, which can drive them to strive for excellence and create a foundation for future
success
.
On the other hand
, the belief that one can achieve anything might create unrealistic expectations.
While
effort and hard
work
are important, external factors
such
as systemic barriers, personal circumstances, and natural aptitudes can
also
play significant roles in
success
.
For instance
, if the children are born into a wealthy family that allows them to receive a high standard of living,
such
as private schools or better quality of life. These advantages lead to more opportunities to be successful that cannot be achieved by only hard
work
. Believing that hard
work
alone is enough can breed frustration, delusion, or even mental illness. To summarize, hard
work
is a vital factor in achieving
success
, but it is
also
essential to consider other contributing factors. In order to reach your goals, it is crucial to stay persistent and dedicated. Remember to be kind to yourself and take pride in your progress, no matter how small it may seem.
Submitted by channguyenhon6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs. This will help your essay flow better and make the logical progression of ideas clearer to the reader.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of instilling the belief in children that hard work leads to success. Ensure complete task achievement by fully developing each of your main points with specific examples and explanations that directly relate to the question prompt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: