IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003.

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003.
#line #information #visitors #museum #summer #winter
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The line graph shows
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the information the
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists visiting a museum in the
summer
Use synonyms
 and winter in 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
guest
Fix the agreement mistake
guests
show examples
 entering in
summer
Use synonyms
 is higher than it
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
 winter. The
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors in
summer
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rised
Correct your spelling
raised
risen
 gradually to 1400, because in
summer
Use synonyms
 all everybody has
a days
Correct the article-noun agreement
a day
days
show examples
 off so they can go somewhere to take a rest.
In addition
Linking Words
, their parents take them to a museum, a place for children can improve their knowledge, but it decreased slowly to 0 in 1800. The
number
Use synonyms
 of guests in winter was lower than it
in
Add a missing verb
was in
show examples
summer
Use synonyms
, it was the highest in 1200 about 600 people, and dropped quickly to 0
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1400 to 1800.
Submitted by doanminhkhoi93 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, summer with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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