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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. Do you agree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution
It is believed that nowadays we are all influenced by environmental pollution and housing
problems
 .
That is
 why, there
have
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has
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 been so much discussion revolving around the issue of whether
government
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the government
show examples
 ought to concentrate on improving these issues to contribute to reducing the rate of human beings who are suffering from illness. I totally agree with
this
 opinion for several reasons.
To begin
 with,
i
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I
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 trust that these complicated
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
problems
 will be solved by
government
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the government
a government
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 they have
potensial
Correct your spelling
potential
 effects. Our planet is becoming more toxic, a
defferent
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different
 unheard
diseases
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of diseases
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 have been identified in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society. At the same
time
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,time
show examples
 many people have
problems
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 houses in urban places because many people are
flockink
Correct your spelling
flocking
 to the globe and they are
struggiling
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struggling
 to find a place to live.
For
instance
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,instance
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 governments can increase the number of jobs in the
countrysides
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countryside
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 to prevent
housing
Correct article usage
a housing
show examples
 crisis.
Furthemore
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Furthermore
, overpopulation is one of the major
problems
 across the globe. Minister organisation can arrange awareness
seminar
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seminars
show examples
 on family planning and making some policies.
For
example
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,example
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 the government in China implemented rules and
regulation
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regulations
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 ever family planning to
evercome
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overcome
ever come
Correct article usage
the everpopulation
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everpopulation
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
ever population
 problem and
such
 kind of action can help to solve
housing
Correct article usage
the housing
show examples
problems
 of the public. In conclusion, I admit that the administration's control has to be involved to advance the places where we live
in
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apply
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as it is the only institute
that is
 holding a key. Despite
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 fact, we will not be able to observe changes if we don't alter ourselves first because the way
behave
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behaves
show examples
 influences
greatly
Correct pronoun usage
us greatly
show examples
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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