IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that smoking is harmful for health and should thus be banned. Do you agree or disagree with this view.

#people #health
Smoking is one of the common addictions among people. Undoubtedly, it has serious bad effects on the human body,
hence
 it has to be banned. I consent that smoking is detrimental but outlawing smoking
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is not easy and could bring side effects. Smoking products and advertisements themselves mention that these are injurious to health.
Hence
, it cannot be denied that
smoker
 is risking their life
while
 smoking, fatal diseases
such
 as lung cancer, throat cancer, and asthma commonly occur
due to
 smoking. In research, the lungs of a healthy person and a heavy
smoker
 were compared, in which a person who smokes damages his lungs in mere 3 months and cannot be recovered.
Moreover
, an active
smoker
 is not the only one who suffers, he makes people around him suffer too. Noxious fumes coming out of smoke are equally dangerous to passive smokers, as they breathe in the emitted fumes and they go inside their body in a similar way as a
smoker
.
As a result
, passive smokers become prone to lung diseases as well.
However
, forbidding people from using cigarettes is not simple as it seems. First of all, smoking is a primarily common addiction in most countries and governments are earning tons of capital from tobacco companies by imposing heavy taxes. If a ban is imposed on the making and selling of tobacco products
then
 the economy of a nation would be affected in a large manner.
Secondly
, a black market could build
as a result
 of the ban. The creation of a black market could ruin many businesses, inflation could result from
this
 and economic growth could slow down. To summarize
this
, smoking is injurious no doubt and should be banned certainly but the government should consider the consequences that a country could have to face in future.
Submitted by me1090905 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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