Giving detail information of Crime in newspaper and on television has bad consequences, some suggest that government should impose some restriction on them. What extent you agree or disagree?

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It is sometimes argued that the huge popularity of violent information on social media can be attributed to harassment,

thus

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, some data should be restricted. I completely agree with

this

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statement. First of all, in the era of globalization, People can get bombarded with numerous mass media which are reachable to everyone whether adults or adolescents.

Thus

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, some harmful behaviours shown in criminal news can bring about crime in children or dangerous actions.

For example

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, in the

last

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10 years, mass murders have increased because people, youth

in particular

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, copy

this

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threatening action from detailed information about a murder on television.

Furthermore

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, by being published in public, severe images being normalized will allow children to view them as a common incident.

For instance

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, in America, an abundance of pupils have been killed by their own schoolmates who try to imitate

this

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hazardous behaviour from a computer game that they commonly take every day.

Consequently

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, To tackle

this

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problem, they should limit the age of certain dangerous news and censor harsh pictures,

thus

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, these cruel mediums can be less and less accessible to youngsters.

Moreover

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, citizens ought to be educated about data purification,

hence

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, they will be able to distinguish what should be delivered

Change preposition

show examples

them.

For example

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, the criminal process should no longer be shown in media because children will imitate

this

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conduct,

moreover

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, parents should counter

this

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attack by controlling their kids when they are delivered messages from television.

To conclude

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, from my perspective,

this

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statement is correct. to overcome

this

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dangerous action, the government should keep the medium, newspapers and television,

in particular

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, free of violation by limiting the detail.

amittawinThu May 11 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates weak logical structure, and the main points are not adequately supported.

task response

Your response does not fully address the task. The link between violent information on social media and the suggestion for government restrictions is vague.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Giving detail information of Crime in newspaper and on television has bad consequences, some suggest that government should impose some restriction on them. What extent you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. this accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that every human being can create art. Others think only people with the ability can create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages togeather. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. in many cases, the people being monitores are unaware that it is happening. do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?