IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The prevention of health problems is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #health #treatment #medicine #government
Health
 service is one of the essential branches of
government
 funding .
However
, many
people
 perceived that
government
 should dedicate some funding to means that help prevention of
health
 issues
such
 as raising restrictions on junk
food
 in
restaurants
.
Besides
 , the
government
 should allow more sports centres in councils .
Firstly
 , governments should pay more attention to the type of
food
that is
 served in
restaurants
 .
For example
 , It has to allow less number of junk
food
restaurants
 .
Hence
, they encourage places which introduce healthy
food
 .
In addition
 ,
people
 will have varieties of
food
 shops which are concerned with making healthy
food
 with different recipes .
Subsequently
 , the ratio of
people
 who eat healthy
food
 will increase and
this
 will reflected in enhancing
health
 preservation .
Secondly
 , one of the important factors that stimulates
health
 preservation, is encouraging
people
 to exercise on a regular basis .
For instance
 ,
this
 might happen through providing sports facilities centres in every council .
Consequently
 , more
people
 will engage in different practices and improve their fitness .
This
 will decrease the proportion of
people
 who suffer from illness and seek medications . In conclusion , the promotion of
health
 preservation is more essential than treatment and medications .
As a result
 , I agree that
government
 should enhance
people
 to eat more healthy
food
 and do more exercise by increasing restrictions on unhealthy
food
-making
restaurants
.
In addition
 , the
government
 should allow more sports facilities centres.
Submitted by Ahmed_abdel_salam on

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