IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #crime #prevention #responsibility
it is true that the responsibility for crime prevention is of the authority but it is
also
 believed that it is an individual duty to protect themselves. I will try to provide pieces of evidence from both sides until a side can be chosen. starting with, the union has introduced many initiatives for society to avoid the majority of lawlessness. By introducing schemes, scholarships for the poor, free education, medical facilities, free old age homes for the elderly and many other facilities
while
 considering all causes of crime.
On the contrary
, There are certain types of misdemeanours that can not be avoided just by state initiatives. And in order to prevent those violations I believe an individual should protect themselves by avoiding places that are not protected by surveillance and police. avoiding baren places etc. union has
also
 started social events where officials teach how can they protect themselves.
To conclude
, thousands of things can be done to avoid cases, and the authority is continuously working on the same, relying completely on state prevention steps is appreciated but it would
also
 be appreciated to learn how a person can protect himself.
Submitted by dr.nilakshpt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: