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Band 5

Many people love watching sports on TV these days. What are the advantages and disadvantages of watching sports on TV?

#people #love #sports #tv
A lot of individuals are interested in watching
sports
 on
TV
 at present .
Admittedy
Correct your spelling
Admittedly
people
 can save money and they will feel comfortable
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching
sports
 on
TV
 ,but there are
also
 drawbacks to be taken into account .
Firstly
,one benefit of watching
sports
 on
TV
 is that
people
 are able to save their money .In
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 words,
people
 can save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money when they stay at home to
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
sports
 on
TV
,and they can save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time ,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
 if
people
 want to
watching
Change the verb
watch
show examples
 the
woruld
Correct your spelling
world
 cup match they should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
travel to another country.
However
,if
people
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
match
Fix the agreement mistake
matches
show examples
 at home it is very cheap.
Secondly
,
people
 can feel comfortable .
people
 are able
feel
Add the particle
to feel
show examples
 relaxed .When they watch
sports
 .
For example
,if
people
 go to watch
Correct article usage
a woruld
show examples
woruld
Correct your spelling
world
 cup match they can not feel comfortable because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
crowded
Replace the word
crowd
show examples
 and sometimes the
people
fighting
Wrong verb form
fight
show examples
 if the team lose like
Indonesia
Change preposition
in Indonesia
show examples
 .
On the other hand
 ,one problem when
people
 watch
sports
 on
TV
 is that they can not have fun and
excitenent
Correct your spelling
excitement
 like when they watch
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 match in the
stdium
Correct your spelling
stadium
 because there are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
people
 there.Another possible issue is that
people
 can not meet the players and take photos with them , and sometimes the players sign on the T-shirt or ball and give
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 the
people
 sometimes the camera
also
 takes photos of
Correct article usage
the audiences
show examples
audiences
Fix the agreement mistake
audience
show examples
 and put it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
TV
 . In conclusion,
while
people
 can get
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 from watching
sports
 on
TV
 ,
people
 can
also
 not
laviy
Correct your spelling
have
 fun and
exutenent
Correct your spelling
excitement
 and they can not meet the players and take photos with
theim
Correct your spelling
them
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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