Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Sporting events and competitions

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

always been a joy to watch. People across various countries from different ages enjoy it, as it is not only entertaining

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

connects people together and

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

relieve stress at the same

time

Therefore

, I disagree with the statement that watching

sports

in one's free

time

is unproductive.

Sports

enthusiasts often have a favourite team that day supported

since

Change preposition

for

show examples

years ago, even decades. Every

time

their team plays, they would turn on the television and start watching.

While

this

is a sign of showing massive support to the team, it is

also

a healthy activity to do in their part-

time

, relative to smoking or drinking. From watching

sports

, athletes can learn and refine their skills by taking notes from the players, and

implement

Wrong verb form

implementing

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

on the field when they are in training next

time

Hence

, I support the idea that watching

sports

is a productive activity as it will provide learning

oppurtunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

while

steering people away from unhealthy habits.

Furthermore

, watching

sports

can assist in increasing interaction and bonding between humans.

For instance

, competitive, world-wide events

for example

the World Cup and Olympics include the participation of many nations. Millions of spectators can be expected during these events and

usually

Add a comma

,usually

show examples

family members or friends will come together to appreciate the beauty and

competitveness

Correct your spelling

competitiveness

of the sport. These moments always create unforgettable memories, where quality

time

are being spent with cheering and laughter reverberating in front of the television.

Thus

, watching

sports

can allow valuable relationships to deepen and establish. In conclusion, watching

sports

is not only solely for entertainment purposes, but

also

operates as a platform to expand connections and function as an input for improvements.

Submitted by keecheepheng on Fri May 12 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get.

In many countries it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?

Some feel that cities shold be designed to be beautiful while others feel their functionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.