Government investment in the arts such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this Money in public services instead. do you agree or disagree.

Investment in art,
music
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the music
show examples
industry and theatre is
goos
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good
show examples
thing and will help
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an individual
the individual
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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who are
sadir
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sad or
depressed to regain themselves, which
also
serves as therapy Which makes them happy. But
i
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I
show examples
will suggest and agree on
government
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the government
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to invest the money
on
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in
show examples
public services
for example
education
, transportation and
alsosecurity
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also security
. the next paragraph will explain more on why government need to deploy the money into
education
, transportation and
also
security with examples. Leadership should contribute more
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
of the young
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
, cause it will
makes
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make
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
attain
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
stage in life that will reduce the
ratevof
Correct your spelling
rate of
rates of
bad gang which are terrorism, in the community.
For instance
most of the youth that didn't go to school end up becoming bad boys. causing trouble around drinking around,
due to
the fact that some could not cater for
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
education
. meanwhile providing a well standard Classroom for learning
also
helps each student to assimilate faster and
Correct quantifier usage
more convinent
show examples
convinent
Correct your spelling
convenient
.
while
one didn't have money or funds the person will end up not doing right.
gy
Correct your spelling
by
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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