Government investment in the arts such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this Money in public services instead. do you agree or disagree.

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Investment in art,
music
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the music
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industry and theatre is
goos
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good
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thing and will help
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an individual
the individual
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individual
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individuals
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who are
sadir
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sad or
depressed to regain themselves, which
also
Linking Words
serves as therapy Which makes them happy. But
i
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I
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will suggest and agree on
government
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the government
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to invest the money
on
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in
show examples
public services
for example
Linking Words
education
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, transportation and
alsosecurity
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also security
. the next paragraph will explain more on why government need to deploy the money into
education
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, transportation and
also
Linking Words
security with examples. Leadership should contribute more
on
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to
show examples
Use synonyms
education
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the education
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of the young
one
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ones
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, cause it will
makes
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make
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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attain
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
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stage in life that will reduce the
ratevof
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rate of
rates of
bad gang which are terrorism, in the community.
For instance
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most of the youth that didn't go to school end up becoming bad boys. causing trouble around drinking around,
due to
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the fact that some could not cater for
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
education
Use synonyms
. meanwhile providing a well standard Classroom for learning
also
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helps each student to assimilate faster and
Correct quantifier usage
more convinent
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convinent
Correct your spelling
convenient
.
while
Linking Words
one didn't have money or funds the person will end up not doing right.
gy
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by
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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