some people think that art is an essential subject for child at school, while other think it is a waste of time. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

In recent days, many people believe that students should focus on the so-called main subjects at
school
like math or
scence
Correct your spelling
science
scene
,
whereas
others opine that
art
should be high on the agenda. In
this
essay, I will elaborate on both viewpoints and propose my own opinion on
this
topic. On the one hand, there is no doubt scientific subjects play a crucial role in today's rapid age of modernization as citizens need to be cultivated to catch up with modern life. As a matter of fact, in any typical Asian
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
where ancient Chinese had huge impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, literature and math are of utmost importance since they had gained benefits
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
the authority.
Furthermore
, as
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
has been updated on a daily basis,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
genration
Correct your spelling
generation
should accumulate their knowledge about the advances
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
technology
as well as
manage to
ultilize
Correct your spelling
utilise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high-tech equipment through the lessons that they have at
school
early on.
On the other hand
,
art
has
significants
Correct your spelling
significant
show examples
positive effects on the youth, so it should be an undetachable part of
school's
Correct article usage
the school's
show examples
curriculum.
Firstly
, drawing and painting activities boost children's creativity, resulting in higher IQ
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
.
For instance
, it is proven that in the very first years of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life, the earlier the kid can approach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the colourful works, the sooner they will be able to learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new things.
Secondly
, taking part in
art
-related subjects may be the best way for kids to let their hair down after a tiring day at
school
with numbers and data.
As a result
,
art
is one of the pivotal contributors which can enhance children's optimal mental health. All things considered, it seems to me that a combination of both standpoints could be the most appropriate solution to balance student's
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
equally.
Art
should be an optional subject at
school
besides
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
major areas.
Submitted by nguyenvutrucmy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!