An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operations to change their looks? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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The fashion world is being explored. In order to look different, a lot of
person
Change to a plural noun
people

The singular countable noun person follows the quantifier lot, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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decide to get operated for aesthetic purposes. The reasons are most public figures want to become more famous and for the purpose of looking younger than their age.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a negative development as several
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable

The spelling of unfavorable is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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outcomes have been reported.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the main reason individuals opt for invasive procedures like liposuction is because they either want to maintain their fame or more popular. The cost of these surgeries
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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affordable and they feel the benefit from
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

action is worth the pay.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

few months, a popular actress got a million followers
in addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to the one and
half
Correct article usage
a half

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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million followers she had on her social media
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of the hip enlargement she did
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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earlier
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

year.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, another motive
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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undergoing
operation
Add an article
the operation

The noun phrase operation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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is to look younger than they should. It is normal for the skin especially the face to get wrinkled as they grow older,
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, all sorts of things like reconstruction of the nose, under
eye
Correct article usage
the eye

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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,
firming
Correct word choice
and firming

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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of the lips are done to look smaller than the current age.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

innovation has not been beneficial in most cases. There have been reports of failed surgeries which
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead

It seems that the verb leads does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to complications. One clear example is the story that went viral online, where the fats deposited in the buttocks shifted leading to
wrong
Change the article
the wrong

It appears that the phrase wrong shape does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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shape in the area.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the products introduced into the body
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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been found to cause cancer. The substance mixed are being studied and are found to have side effects. In conclusion, individuals decide to get operations for beautification because of fame and to look younger with lots of side effects. Policies can be made by the government to discourage or ban
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

procedure among people.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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