IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Today children spend a lot of their free time watching TV Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this pratice?

#children #time #tv #pratice
In the modern world, young people spend the majority of their leisure time watching television. There are potential benefits and drawbacks of
this
 practice but the negative impacts tend to be more significant. First of all, the most apparent drawback is it will have negative impacts on children’s physical health
such
 as eye problems or obesity.
For instance
, watching
TV
 involves sitting and seeing a large animated screen,
this
 practice does not involve any active exercise.
Accordingly
, in the long term, kids are likely to become lazier and refuse to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise.
As a result
, they will become overweight and
this
 can lead to many other health issues.
Secondly
, as kids are not willing to go outside and hang out with their friends, they might have problems with socializing or making friends.
In particular
, because they are too focused on the
TV
, they do not go outside. In turn, they will lack social skills and might not be able to socialize with other people.
This
 can be a huge drawback for children in the future as they will need to have those skills in order to become successful.
On the other hand
, it is not always a bad thing for the kids to watch
TV
. It can be the place where they can learn many things.
For instance
, many children are able to learn how to count, read and sing through animated videos on YouTube. It is an easier tool for them to imitate and learn compared to reading books.
Overall
, the disadvantages of watching
TV
 are more notable than the disadvantages. It can lead to many negative impacts
such
 as health issues or social issues.
However
, children can actually learn a lot through it.
Submitted by hoangminhhien224 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: