Nowadays everywhere in the world has multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic people. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

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Nowadays, dealing with multicultural people from different backgrounds is considered an indispensable factor in our lives;

consequently

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this

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essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of

this

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phenomenon and provide a logical conclusion for it.

Firstly

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, the main drawback of dealing with a mixture of different ethnic people is what we can call "Complexity", sometimes it is not that easy to control a society when you have various cultures in it.

For example

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, If someone is working in a multinational company, he will work with people from various places;

accordingly

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, he has to learn how to avoid sensitive arguments and for sure

this

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is required

Wrong verb form

requires

show examples

a huge effort to understand and work

accordingly

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Secondly

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although

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this

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phenomenon is complex as we mentioned earlier, it has

also

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very

Rephrase

apply

show examples

unique benefit which is exploring experiences from all places around the world. To illustrate, let us take one country

such

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as the USA as an example. In the USA we will find many ethnicities

came

Wrong verb form

come

show examples

from all earth;

hence

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, there is a different exposure affecting many different aspects, including economic, financial, technological and even entertainment sectors

such

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as cinema and theatre.

In addition

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to that, I believe

this

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will lead to growth in other aspects.

To conclude

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due to

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the aforementioned reasons, we may safely conclude that having folks from many ethnic in one place benefits

outweighs

Correct subject-verb agreement

outweigh

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its drawbacks;

therefore

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, the government should encourage diversity across society to

take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

benefit growth and prosperity.

Submitted by rehameldweik on Sat May 13 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the question and provides a comprehensive response to the task. Make sure to provide specific examples to support each point.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively contribute to the overall structure of the essay. However, work on the logical structure within body paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

241 words

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Nowadays everywhere in the world has multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic people. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Word Count

Being involved in the arts makes people feel better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

it is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantage of taking risks outweights the disadvantages?

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?