IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In their advertising businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way

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In the twenty-first ,century organizations use advertisements to inform the community that their products exist, so they sometimes exaggerate their product commercials to trigger the crowd to purchase them.
This
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 way of advertising has drawbacks and merits that will be discussed in
this
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 essay. Nowadays, it is common that corporations to emphasise that their items have novelty which can not be seen before,
due to
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 encouraging people to buy them.
For example
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, some garment companies do plain changes in normal jeans to make them unique and attractive for teenagers who want to be at the centre of attention and fashionable.
Therefore
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, it aids to sell more and more every day.On the one hand,if advertising presents evolutionary goods, the public's demand will rise.
Consequently
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, the rate of sales and the company's profit will increase. It means that there are some advantages in
this
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 case.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 method has diverse disadvantages.
Firstly
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, exaggerating promotions stimulates the hunger for commercialism constantly.
Hence
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, a tremendous amount of waste is produced '
As a result
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 not only consumerism will grow, but
also
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 it has negative effects on the environment.
For instance
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, a new version of the iPhone is released every year and Apple lovers queue to purchase the latest cellphone.
Then
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, former smartphones are thrown away and make so much electronic waste.
Moreover
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, it can enhance people's expectations,because they want to try something different .If the product does not qualify enough, They will not buy it again, so bankruptcy for businesses will occur. All in all,
although
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 advertising plays a crucial role in trade, it has demerits and benefits.Personally, I think the disadvantages outweigh its bright sides.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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