IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Travellers and business people often come into contact other cultures briefly. What are the main advantages and disavantages of doing so?

In the modern world, it is easier than ever to
come
Verb problem
travel
show examples
 to other countries to travel and for work
purposes
Check wording
or for pleasure
show examples
. It may bring a lot more benefits for both businesses and foreigners, but experiencing different cultures in a short time could
also
Linking Words
face
Verb problem
bring
show examples
 some issues.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one of the advantages is cultural exchange. The easier way to approach a new society, the easier the opportunity for people to get an understanding of other lifestyles.
As a result
Linking Words
, cultural development will progress.
For instance
Linking Words
, an international fair for different countries to introduce their traditional beauty can bring many advantages.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, international business could
also
Linking Words
 introduce their products rapidly, which may improve the economy. With an easier way to contact other countries, there are a lot more methods for businesses to come into foreign markets.
Foreigner
Replace the word
Foreign
show examples
 tourists often bring their domestic goods when they come to another
,
Check wording
country, it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 may attract the local
intentions
Use the right word
attention
show examples
 and advertise it to
this
Linking Words
 society.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, a brief understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 other cultures
also
Linking Words
 brings a worthless side. The problem comes from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
shortage
Check wording
lack
show examples
 of understanding. A lack of time to explore carefully about a society
may
Rephrase
carefully may
show examples
 lead to some misunderstandings. Some people accidentally see
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 bad side of a country, and they tell
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to friends when they go home, which could easily broaden a
not-good
Use the right word
negative
show examples
thinking
Check wording
impression
show examples
 of the culture.
To sum up
Linking Words
, profits from rapid foreign contact are
uncountable
Correct word choice
immeasurable
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it could
also
Linking Words
 bring some difficulties. The important thing is to
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a deep understanding of a culture before starting a discussion or a decision about it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

tip
Work to have a clear idea in each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence that tells the point you will make.
tip
Use linking words to show how ideas fit together. Words like first, also, but, then, in addition help the reader.
tip
Give simple, real examples to back each point. Do not be long, keep to one idea per example.
tip
Check grammar and fix small errors. Use short, safe sentences rather than long ones when you are not sure.
strength
The essay shows both good side and bad side of the topic.
strength
There is a clear end that sums up the idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: