IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the advantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.

#internet #books #air #tickets #groceries #experiences
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Shopping is the initial part of our
life
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lives
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 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 our necessities. Buying things online,
such
Linking Words
 as hard-copy materials, air tickets and staple food, is becoming more and more rewarding. In my point of view, I do believe that online shopping is more beneficial than
offline
Use synonyms
 shopping.
Brick-and-mortar
Correct article usage
A Brick-and-mortar
show examples
store
Use synonyms
 is the conventional one that applies for
customers
Use synonyms
 to come directly to the
store
Use synonyms
 and give them more chances to elevate the things that they want to need, which means they need a lot of time to choose and pick the items that they really want to buy.
However
Linking Words
, it is not sufficient enough for
customers
Use synonyms
 if they want to buy air tickets because they have to be in line and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying books in a flea market as a part of an
offline
Use synonyms
store
Use synonyms
 would be tiring because the sellers and
customers
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 must search the books from beneath of the books and make a bargain.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, online shopping is the best option for
customers
Use synonyms
 in terms of time-consuming. We can shop for anything through our
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
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 without hassle. Unlike
offline
Use synonyms
 stores, the products that we could get did not meet the expectation of
customers
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,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
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 fresh products
such
Linking Words
 as vegetables and fruit. It seems to be bruised easier especially if the
store
Use synonyms
 was not having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good packaging and
delivering
Replace the word
delivery
show examples
. Economic analysts state that online shoppers seem to be more common than
few
Change the article
a few
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 decades before. It
because
Add a missing verb
is because
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 of the time-consuming that we need
are
Change the verb form
is
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 less than
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 on brick-and-mortar
Use synonyms
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
. In conclusion, in my point of view, I do believe that online shopping is more beneficial than
offline
Use synonyms
 stores. It is because of the time-management that I have to make properly and for some products it is damageable for buying them via online stores.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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