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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#religion #schools
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Religion
 has always been a very sensitive topic in our society. Some people argue that
school
 subjects with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to
religion
 should be avoided.
However
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
religion
 should be part of
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 curriculum. On the one hand, groups that are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of removing
religion
 classes in
school
 believe that it creates conflict among
students
 with different beliefs. They think that
students
 must be free from religious pressure and have the free will to choose what they want to follow. Certain
schools
for example
, that accepts multi-cultural
students
, do not provide subjects with regards to
religion
.
However
, there are institutions like catholic
schools
 that can freely
discussed
Change the verb form
discuss
show examples
 their faith
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
students
.
On the other hand
, I strongly agree that
religion
 should be included in
school
 programs. Contrary to what other people say, teaching
religion
 in
school
 can make the
students
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more aware of other’s faith.
Additionally
, no matter what type of
religion
Replace the word
religious
show examples
 subjects is offered, they all discuss how to be
kind
Add an article
a kind
show examples
 and good person which I think
an
Add a missing verb
is an
show examples
 excellent way to shape the children’s character.
Moreover
, teaching
this
 subject does not necessarily mean that the children are forced to follow the specific type of
religion
 being taught. That being said,
schools
 must be cautious with
this
 aspect and be respectful
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 other student’s beliefs. On the final note, I believed that
religion
 helps
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
 character on the basis of being good
hence
 must be taught in
schools
however
 respect must be in place.
Submitted by aragoza.donieray on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • religious education
  • multi-faith society
  • values and ethics
  • tolerance
  • diversity
  • religious freedom
  • secular education
  • curriculum
  • worldviews
  • interfaith dialogue
  • religious literacy
  • moral guidance
  • cultural understanding
  • critical thinking
  • respect
  • indoctrination
  • religious beliefs
  • secular state
  • religious extremism
  • academic subject
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