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Writing Samples
Band 6

A person's success nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness, and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#person #success #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
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There are various reasons to consider when making a judgement about the success of a person.
People
 often consider
someone
 successful if they have a high social status and material wealth, rather than looking
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the moral
values
 of each individual. I completely disagree with
this
 idea because a successful individual should come from good manners, and social prestige and private ownership are external factors.
Firstly
, moral
values
 are essential to evaluate
people
, as when they become successful, they become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
 for others. Most of them appear in the media or society, as they are invited to deliver a speech to their supporters.
People
 prefer to listen to
people
 who have good character, even if they come from a high position. Their delivery of information can influence others’ lives, as others may want to be like them in the future.
However
, if they only have a status, but lack
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 personality, it can affect their audiences’ view.
Therefore
,
people
 may no longer support them. Another downside is that social position and valuable
possessions
 are not the only way to acknowledge
someone
's success or lack thereof.
People
 with good moral
values
 still have a chance to succeed, and their private
possessions
 may be enhanced later in life. Sometimes they come from a poor, low-status family and go through many challenging things in life to achieve their goals, which is a valuable part that
people
 respect because of their commitments. Whenever they reach their aims, their wealth and social position may come after.
For instance
, successful
people
 who raise funds for many charities as much as they can without being selfish might gain popularity rather than
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
 them for themselves. In conclusion, I believe that when evaluating a person's success, it is impossible to replace outdated worth and look for only social status and
possessions
 because moral
values
 are essential when
someone
 becomes a good example for others and relying only on ranking society and
possessions
 is not a good way to judge
someone
.
Submitted by sedfrtgt on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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