IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that the increasing gap between rich and poor people has a negative impact on society. What are the reasons for rising inequality and what problems could it cause?

#people #gap #impact #society #inequality
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Nowadays, it is an increasing number of poor
people
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.
However
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, many
people
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 believe that the increasing gap between rich and poor
people
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 has a negative impact on
society
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. In
this
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 essay, I will examine the factors that contribute to inequality and the problems that come
along with
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 it. The main factor of rising inequality is different
health
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 treatments. In
this
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 modern era, many hospitals offer different treatments based on the level. By providing different levels of
health
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treatment
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, poor
people
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 cannot get the same
treatment
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 as wealthy
people
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. They tend to get less quality handling. For illustration, the poor cannot get the VIP inpatient room just like the rich.
As a result
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, the poor will face difficulties to get better medicine and
treatment
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. The following reason is
education
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.
Education
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 is one of the main issues in
society
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.
However
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, in some countries
education
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 is divided into two kinds, there are private
schools
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 and public
schools
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. Wealthy
people
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 tend to enrol in private
schools
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 because of the facilities offered by the school.
In contrast
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, the poor just can take public
schools
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 with limitations.
Consequently
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,
people
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 can label
others
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 on their educational backgrounds that they have.
However
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, there are some problems that can be caused by an imbalance between rich and poor
people
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. The first problem is increasing social jealousy. By treating
people
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 based on their social status,
society
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 will be easier to get jealous of
others
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. They will feel pity for their lives.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 feeling will lead them to hate
others
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' lives. The second reason is increasing crime. The imbalance in
society
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 tends to make the poor want to take
others
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' belongings.
Moreover
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, they can do anything harmful to get what they want.
Consequently
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, there will be an increase in the crime rate.
To sum up
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, the imbalance of
treatment
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 for the rich and poor can be caused by different levels of
education
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 and
health
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treatment
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.
Thus
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,
this
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 trend leads to make social jealousy and increases the crime rate. I am firmly convinced that taking the level for
education
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 and
health
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 will be a wise decision to decrease the gap between poor and wealthy
people
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.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Income disparity
  • Wealth distribution
  • Socioeconomic gap
  • Economic inequality
  • Marginalization
  • Systemic barriers
  • Economic policies
  • Automation
  • Artificial intelligence
  • Globalization
  • Educational disparities
  • Inheritance
  • Wealth transfer
  • Social cohesion
  • Healthcare disparities
  • Economic stagnation
  • Social unrest
  • Cycle of poverty
  • Deregulation
  • Subsidies
What to do next:
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