IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think governments should spend money on the arts, while others believe it should be spent on public services. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays,
and
Use the right word
an
show examples
 increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 have different opinions on whether the
government
Use synonyms
 should invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
 industry.
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective. My own point of view is that the
government
Use synonyms
 should invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
 industry. Advocate believes that
government
Use synonyms
 investment in the
art
Use synonyms
 field is beneficial to develop
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 economy. To be more specific,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 builds appropriate
art
Use synonyms
 galleries and concert halls and so on. It can provide citizens with more places for spiritual enjoyment, improve the
overall
Linking Words
 quality of citizens, and promote cultural consumption. Placing various theme sculptures in parks and some public areas can beautify the environment, enhance
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
city
Check wording
city's
show examples
 artistic taste. Holding various music festivals to attract
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
. It is helpful to create a stable and harmonious social atmosphere, thereby attracting more investments and driving the development of related industries and increasing work opportunities. Opponents believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 should give priority
investment
Change preposition
to investment
show examples
 in medical care to improve the health level of citizens. If
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can build more community hospitals, introduce advanced medical equipment,
invite
Correct word choice
and invite
show examples
 domestic and foreign medical experts to give local doctors professional training, improve their professional level. It will improve
people
Use synonyms
's quality of life and enable more
people
Use synonyms
 to enjoy high-quality medical care. services, extend
people
Use synonyms
's lifespan, and even overcome some medical challenges . In conclusion, despite the fact that investing
medical
Use the right word
in medicine
show examples
 is beneficial to improve
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 level of
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I am still convinced that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 ought to invest
art
Use synonyms
 field, because investing
art
Use synonyms
invest
Check wording
field
show examples
 can drive
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 development
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
In
Linking Words
addition
Punctuation problem
addition,
show examples
 economic development
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
have
Verb problem
to have
show examples
 more budget to invest
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
show examples
.

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structure
Plan your essay first. Start with a short sentence of the topic and your view. Then a paragraph for each side, with one clear idea and a simple example. End with a short line that restates your view.
language
Use only simple words. Keep one idea in each line and use links like and, but, so, also to join ideas.
content
Give a clear example for each idea. Show how art can help people or the town. One clear example per idea.
organization
Make each paragraph fit the idea. Use a clear start and end of each paragraph and a short final line in the end.
content
You state your view clearly and you compare art with health care.
structure
There is an effort to discuss both sides and a closing line.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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