IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The most important function of music is that it help people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

#function #music #people #stress
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
no doubt,it is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
show examples
 that classical
music
Use synonyms
 control human stress level as it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to relax our
boby
Correct your spelling
body
 and mind as well.
Nevertherless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
,
due to
Linking Words
song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs
show examples
 and loud
music
Use synonyms
 people
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
 to control their emotions which is very hard to to ignore . I personally
Correct your spelling
agree
agrees
agress
Correct your spelling
agree
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement and
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay intends to explain both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of
music
Use synonyms
 in
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 celebration First and foremost ,
nowadys
Correct your spelling
nowadays
 it become tend to allow soft
music
Use synonyms
 in business meetings because it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to maintain the mood and relax our mind .Needless to
say
Add a comma
,say
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,in most popular
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
 always
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
Music
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their party to make every single person comfortable and enjoy the moment in
well
Change the article
a well
show examples
 way and even not feel boor as well.
For example
Linking Words
, in
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 every function and business award event
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 soft
music
Use synonyms
 to make comfortable with each other. Adding more , in many
nation
Change to a plural noun
nations
show examples
 every family festival dj system play
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 crucial role and it has
tranditional
Correct your spelling
traditional
 values in numerous cultures
such
Linking Words
 as in
south
Correct article usage
the south
show examples
 Indian side ,every function start with
Music
Use synonyms
,if
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is no
Music
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 people cannot enjoy the events properly.
Moverover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, people love to listen
different
Change preposition
to different
show examples
tpyes
Correct your spelling
types
 of
Add an article
the song
show examples
song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs
show examples
according to
Linking Words
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 mood to control their stress.
Hence
Linking Words
 ,
music
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 important place in everyone's life To summer up,
although
Linking Words
music
Use synonyms
 is very essential in every event .
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 must
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 the situations and mood
Submitted by kirandkaur131 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: