IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are moving to a new country to go to university and will need a part - time job . You have a friend who lives in that country . Write a letter to your friend . In your letter , apologise for not staying in touch explain why you're moving to this country ask your friend if he / she can help you find a job .

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Dear Maninder, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in radiant health and the best of spirits. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to let you know that I am coming to the USA next month. I hope you
should be
Wrong verb form
are
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 doing well in the US. First of all, I want to apologise for being out of touch with you for a
while
Linking Words
 now. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 I was occupied
in
Change preposition
with
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 a few personal chores because of my father's demise six months ago. Owing to
this
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, mishap I left my studies in between, but now I have decided to pursue my Master's degree in Computer Applications in Boston. The course
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 commencing in March,
therefore
Linking Words
, I will land there in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 week of February. Since, you
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 living in Boston for two years now,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I was wondering
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
if you could help me
in finding
Wrong verb form
find
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 a part-time job. Which, will give me an opportunity to survive in alien surroundings.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I see
this
Linking Words
 as a new
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of our
years old
Add a hyphen
years-old
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 relationship. I hope you will help me
in
Change preposition
to
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best
Correct article usage
the best
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 of your abilities and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Best Wishes, Jatinder.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use appropriate connectors for smoother transition between ideas. For example, 'Since' at the start of a sentence could create a fragment; consider connecting it to the prior sentence.
Task Achievement
Ensure to provide more details about your upcoming life changes and study plans to make the explanation clearer.
Task Achievement
The letter maintains a warm and friendly tone throughout, which is very suitable for a personal letter.
Coherence & Cohesion
The letter is well-structured with a clear opening, body, and closing. It addresses the required tasks effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Apologize for not staying in touch: 'I feel terrible about not being in contact more often...', 'I'm sorry for not keeping in touch as much as I'd like to...'.
  • Moving: 'I'm thrilled to be moving to...', 'I've been given an amazing opportunity to study at...', 'I am on the brink of starting a new chapter in...'.
  • Part-time job: 'I am hoping to find a part-time job...', 'It would be great if you could help me with finding...', 'I am eager to work and gain some experience...'.
  • Study and university: 'I will be joining...', 'I have enrolled in...', 'My course will be...'.
  • Requesting assistance: 'Do you think you could help me out with...', 'Would you mind giving me some guidance about...', 'Could you keep an eye out for...'.
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