You are moving to a new country to go to university and will need a part - time job . You have a friend who lives in that country . Write a letter to your friend . In your letter , apologise for not staying in touch explain why you're moving to this country ask your friend if he / she can help you find a job .

#country #university #part #time #job #friend #lives #apologise #touch #re

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Dear Maninder, I hope

this

Linking Words

letter finds you in radiant health and the best of spirits. I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to let you know that I am coming to the USA next month. I hope you

should be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

doing well in the US. First of all, I want to apologise for being out of touch with you for a

while

Linking Words

now. Since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

I was occupied

Change preposition

with

show examples

a few personal chores because of my father's demise six months ago. Owing to

this

Linking Words

, mishap I left my studies in between, but now I have decided to pursue my Master's degree in Computer Applications in Boston. The course

Correct your spelling

show examples

commencing in March,

therefore

Linking Words

, I will land there in

Linking Words

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

week of February. Since, you

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

living in Boston for two years now,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I was wondering

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

if you could help me

in finding

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

a part-time job. Which, will give me an opportunity to survive in alien surroundings.

Moreover

Linking Words

, I see

this

Linking Words

as a new

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

of our

years old

Add a hyphen

years-old

show examples

relationship. I hope you will help me

Change preposition

show examples

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

of your abilities and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Best Wishes, Jatinder.

Submitted by mrsdns on Sat Dec 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to use appropriate connectors for smoother transition between ideas. For example, 'Since' at the start of a sentence could create a fragment; consider connecting it to the prior sentence.

Task Achievement

Ensure to provide more details about your upcoming life changes and study plans to make the explanation clearer.

Task Achievement

The letter maintains a warm and friendly tone throughout, which is very suitable for a personal letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is well-structured with a clear opening, body, and closing. It addresses the required tasks effectively.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

192 words

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In some cultures, people often tell children that they could achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this advice?

Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. To what extent do you agree.