It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recent years have witnessed a debate about whether investing in encouraging people to stay healthy should be given more importance than saving the ill.
While
many patients are in demand of support from the government and community, I hold the belief that preventing illness should be prioritized over curing. On the one hand, it is a big challenge for the poor to resolve their health issues when living on a tight budget.
This
is the reason why there is a need for financial aid from the public.
For instance
, many children who are new-born have to deal with physical disabilities but their parents cannot afford to find proper
treatment
.
As a consequence
, in a real sense, a lot of fund-raising campaigns from not-for-profit organizations operate to implement the mission of bringing a better life for the unlucky.
Nevertheless
, for a variety of reasons, it would be wrong if the emphasis is placed mostly on the
treatment
.
Instead
, promoting healthy lifestyles will be of great significance in declining the illness.
To begin
with, many patients fall into a certain disease
as a result
of lacking knowledge and not being health-conscious.
Hence
, there should be propaganda programs to alert people about the consequences of unhealthy lifestyles
as well as
how to stay away from dangerous illnesses. To illustrate, during the
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
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period, the Vietnamese medical authority implemented numerous communication campaigns to convey 5K regulations in order to raise people's awareness about how to stay safe during
this
pandemic, which
brought
Verb problem
had
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a profound effect at that time.
Furthermore
, encouraging a healthy lifestyle has a perennial impact on society. If most of the population has focused on health issues
,
Correct word choice
and, thus
show examples
thus
, has better physical and mental well-being, the budget investing in
treatment
can be spent on other urgent problems like poverty or education.
To conclude
,
although
providing
treatment
support is necessary, I do believe that preventing is better than curing diseases.
Therefore
, there is a need to plough ahead with social projects to establish healthy living habits.
Submitted by phamthihongnhunght on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is clearly linked to the main topic and supporting points. Use topic sentences and linking words to create a clear and logical structure in the essay.
Task Response
Provide a more thorough discussion on the reasons behind the opinion and use specific examples to support each argument. Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt in a balanced manner.
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