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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the young people should be free to choose their job, but other people think that they should be realist and think more about their future.Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

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As our society develops, many different roles arouse to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 the ever-changing need of the
job
Use synonyms
 market.
While
Linking Words
 it may seem logical for a big part of
people
Use synonyms
 to believe that young workers should always take realistic elements into consideration relating to
job
Use synonyms
 decisions,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 opposite advocating
people
Use synonyms
's right to freely pursue whatever jobs is
also
Linking Words
 comprehensible. I am going to provide reasons from both perspectives. From
one
Use synonyms
 side, it is not blamable for the seniors to assume that the young generation has to be more realistic in their occupation choices. Having been broadly known, a beneficial position with high income and easy tasks has been the previous generation's definition of a good
job
Use synonyms
 and only
such
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 kind of career can bring happiness. There is a true value that
people
Use synonyms
 need to first be able to earn their own living before they can pursue any
further
Linking Words
 dreams. The fact is when
one
Use synonyms
 has very little possibility of survival, they will hardly recall their mental demands. On the other side, we can ignore that most of the world's citizens in
this
Linking Words
 era have no longer been worried about
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 and dwellings. We are living in an environment where almost every
one
Use synonyms
 of our needs is satisfied. More than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half of every ten
people
Use synonyms
 in the recent decade has a university diploma, which means the basic living of
people
Use synonyms
 is ensured. For we are not lacking any physical necessities, mental satisfaction is what we are seeking.
Job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction usually connects to a
job
Use synonyms
 that
one
Use synonyms
 can enjoy, even if it is unrealistic.
therefore
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, I believe we should be more tolerant
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different
people
Use synonyms
's decisions,
instead
Linking Words
 of keeping of judging.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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