IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that playing computer games is bad for children in every aspect. Others say that playing computer games can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #computer #games #children #aspect #effects
It is considered by some that playing
computer
games
 damages
children
,
while
 others think it develops
children
’s potential in different aspects. In my opinion, I believe that
computer
games
 could have some advantages for
children
 in their development
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
 playing them constantly could have dangerous results. On the one hand, many think that playing
computer
games
 develops a child’s skills.
In other words
, by playing
computer
games
,
children
 could learn to make quick decisions in critical situations, which is important in their future lives.
Furthermore
, they could concentrate on one goal and be engaged in one activity for a long period of
time
.
On the other hand
,
children
 who are involved in
computer
games
 for a long period could face damaged results on their health. It is proven that
computer
games
 have addictive effects on human minds. Obviously, uncontrolled
children
 do not notice the influence of
computer
games
 on their soft minds.
As a result
,
children
 become absorbed by virtual reality.
Finally
, in my opinion, whether playing
computer
games
 could be useful for
children
’s development at some points, depends on the period of
time
children
 are engaged in it. By spending too much
time
 with
computer
games
,
children
 could lose the opportunities to be developed in different fields. Take
for example
 socializing, by playing
computer
games
,
children
 do not communicate with their peers at all.
Computer
games
 cause addiction in child’s psyches if these activities are out of adults’ control. In conclusion, playing
computer
games
 could cause a positive effect on
children
’s development depending on the
time
children
 spend playing them. Parents should be aware of the
time
 limits their
children
 spend doing
such
 kinds of activities.
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: