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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some children spend hours every day on their phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive ar negative development?

#children #hours #phones #case #ar #development
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Most people spend more hours on their phones in the developing world. 
This
 condition is manifested especially among the young generation.
According to
 my knowledge, 
this
 is happening because of the attractive qualities of these devices. In my opinion,
this
 development is negative progress.
This
 essay will analyze
this
 phenomenon.
To begin
 with, the main reason behind
this
 trend is the busy lifestyle of
parents
.
As a result
 of
this
,
parents
 are very tired. When they return home after finishing work, they are quite happy to give their mobile devices to their kids, to keep away them from disturbing them. Because of
this
 young generation get addicted to these electronics more often than we saw in the past. 
That is
 why it is the busy lifestyle of the
parents
 that attracts children to these gadgets. The main consequences of
this
 trend have been always negative. 
First,
it physically weakens the kids.
This
 happening is that they hardly move when they use mobile phones. 
In addition
,  now these children have become more violent because of the games that they play using mobile phones.
To conclude
,  I am against the overuse of these modern smartphones is a bad development,  especially among the young generation.  In
this
 ,essay I discussed the negative consequences of
this
 development and why I am against it. Most importantly,  these habits are weakening these kids physically
as well as
 becoming more violent. Adults must consider
this
 increase more thoroughly as their lifestyle promotes
this
. In any case,
parents
 should not allow it.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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