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Band 6

Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#sports #sky
Some people are passionate about extreme
sports
, even considering those as their favourite recreational activities,
whereas
 others have reservations and recommend strict regulations to forbid
this
 kind of
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate on both arguments and propose my opinion on
this
 topic. On the one hand, there is no doubt that
this
 type of sport has certain benefits to enhance the
players
' physical and mental health.
Firstly
, the substances that individuals release
while
 playing challenging games can increase their brain function, playing a crucial role as a mood booster to reduce stress.
Moreover
, to be able to play these extreme activities, the participant must make efforts to train their physical strength to meet the demand of the
sports
.
As a result
,
this
 type of adventurous sport should be taken into account as a stimulating contest to challenge its
players
 to overcome their comfort zones.
On the other hand
, there are some alarming risks of
this
 entertainment hobby which should be taken into consideration.
Firstly
, a small mistake in launching those extreme
sports
 like skiing or skydiving can lead to fatal accidents, resulting in the death of numerous
players
. As an article that was published on the BBC, two Danish tourists just died from bungee jumping in Thailand
due to
 the lack of security,
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 five holiday-makers recently found dead in Vietnam because of playing sky diving without awareness of safety methods.
Secondly
, if the person who desires to play these
sports
 has chronic diseases like a heart attack or high blood pressure, it would be an extremely risky case that can lead to passing away immediately. In short, it seems to me that as extreme
sports
also
 have some positive impacts on people's health, we should not force them to be banned rigidly.
However
, a strict safety rule to play
this
 kind of
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
 should be enforced for
players
 to implement for their own sake.
Submitted by nguyenvutrucmy on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adrenaline rush
  • risk threshold
  • thrill-seeking
  • safety protocols
  • hazard assessment
  • adventure tourism
  • regulatory framework
  • personal autonomy
  • informed consent
  • risk mitigation strategies
  • thrill-seeking behavior
  • protective gear
  • extreme athleticism
  • freedom of choice
  • accident prevalence
  • emergency response
  • courage and resilience
  • endorphin release
  • legal implications
  • peer pressure effects
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