IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?

#students #opportunity #study #part #courses #countries
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Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly common for
people
 to study abroad.
However
, taking courses in foreign countries not only offers some benefits but
also
 drawbacks. I totally agree that being an international student can lead to some disadvantages. The main reason is
culture
 shock. By being international students,
people
 can learn about new cultures and societies. It makes them have to adjust to another
culture
.
Moreover
, the process of adjusting to new things
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not always easy for newcomers. For illustration, the principles of international students are different from local
people
,
such
 as table manners and socializing.
Thus
,
this
 difference can be hard to
be accepted
Wrong verb form
accept
show examples
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 that just moved.
As a result
, the students cannot deal with the
culture
 which makes them stressed. The following reason why moving abroad brings drawbacks, makes
people
 feel lonely. It is because they are far from their relatives and friends.
Nevertheless
, making friends is not easy for a newcomer. By not being able
of making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
 friends,
people
 cannot mingle with society. It leads to feeling alienated. They will face struggles to communicate with
people
 around them.
Consequently
, it will make them depressed and cannot enjoy their study.
To sum up
, being an international student can be challenging. There will be some disadvantages that can affect the process of learning
such
 as
culture
 shock and feeling lonely.
However
, it will be better
for searching
Change preposition
to search
show examples
 the information and
culture
 of the countries that
people
 want to visit or
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 a student there in order to reduce the drawbacks of moving abroad.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task response
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are not effectively supported throughout the essay. The response only partially addresses the task, and the specific examples provided are not fully relevant to the points being made. Consider providing a more comprehensive response with relevant examples that clearly support the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but the introduction and conclusion need improvement. Additionally, the supported main points could be strengthened with clearer connections between ideas. Consider adding more cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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