Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
contemporary world, diseases are being increased
rapidly and new of it are arising. Wrong verb form
increasing
However
, there are individuals who opine that the government should focus on pollution and housing problems in order to reduce sickness. It is somewhat true in my opinion. In this
essay, I will state my clear opinion.
Firstly
, the main reasons for diseases are pollution and drainage-related issues. The increasing number of motor vehicles which emit harmful gas affects both humans and the surroundings. The department should conduct tests on vehicle fitness and should impose strict fines on them. Authorities should try to increase public transport facilities which will reduce the usage of private vehicles. As a result
, the frequency of owned vehicles will be reduced. Apart from
this
, home appliances like refrigerators and ovens emulate contaminated gases which will result in the depletion of ozone layers.All these affect human life it even causes
danger to their lives.
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
Secondly
, nowadays corruption has increased as a result
individuals are even building houses in improper areas even without a proper disposal system. However
, still,there are 30% of humans living in slum areas. The authorities should try to eradicate this
. They should introduce new schemes like free property, free homes and paying penalties which will help in moving them to a better place with basic facilities.Moreover
, humans used to burn wastes
and plastic which causes respiratory illness.
In conclusion, environmental issues are a major reason for skin cancers too. The word government itself mean "for the people, by the people and of the people".So they have the responsibility to take care of it.Fix the agreement mistake
waste
Submitted by ameeshaaa19 on
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Task Response
The essay lacks a clear opinion statement and fails to address the prompt effectively. Ensure that the essay clearly addresses the given topic and presents a clear stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, and the ideas are not presented in a cohesive manner. Work on organizing the ideas logically and using appropriate linking words to improve coherence and cohesion.