In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education.
In some nations in Europe, many
children
from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools
to learn more practical skills
that will help them get a job in the future
, but other children
stay in schools
which provide a more general academic education.In my opinion, I think should teach children
to communicate well, help students
to learn how to use computers,
and give them enough practice to improve their language.
Remove the comma
apply
Firstly
, schools
should teach children
to communicate with others. In other words
, they have to do some activities so all the students
can join together. For example
, they can do sports activities after school, so when children
join these activities, they can communicate with other friends. As a result
, they know how to mix with others when they work in the future
.
Secondly
, schools
should teach children
how to use computers. That is
to say, they should educate them on how to find information on the Internet. Moreover
, they should teach them how to type using a keyboard. For instance
, before the students
write an essay, they can find information online and write their essay on the computer. Therefore
, they will be good at computer skills
and this
will help them in the future
.
Finally
, schools
should teach children
how to speak English
fluently. In some countries, many people cannot speak English
after they complete their high school. Because of this
, they cannot get jobs easily. To illustrate, many people in Saudi Arabia cannot find jobs easily because they cannot speak English
. Thus
, when children
can speak fluent English
, they can work in international companies.
To sum up
, improving communication skills
, computer skills
, and language skills
are
helpful for Wrong verb form
will be
students
in the future
.Submitted by s_syedy on
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task response
You made a strong effort in addressing the topic and presenting clear ideas. However, you can improve by ensuring your examples are more closely tied to the main point. For instance, your example about learning English in Saudi Arabia can be linked more directly to the argument about practical versus academic education systems.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs and logical progression. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, introducing linking phrases such as 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could enhance the flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph is dedicated to a specific point which is well-supported.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay and summarize your main points.
task response
You have provided clear and comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?