Many people say that we place too much importance on money and possessions. Others believe that the consumer society improves our quality of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Although
some people
believe that save
Replace the word
saving
money
has value in their lives
, other
believe that spending Fix the agreement mistake
others
money
that
will enhance their Correct pronoun usage
apply
standared
of Correct your spelling
standard
live
.Replace the word
living
However
, I am a strong beliver
that Correct your spelling
believer
pay
to improve Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
people
's lives
. This
for two many resones
, Correct your spelling
reasons
resonates
people
spend time
to improve
their skills, and Change the verb form
improving
to buy
some Change the verb form
buying
machain
that would help them in their Correct your spelling
machine
lives
.
First,
consumer society has a
Correct article usage
apply
signaficant
users who trying to build up their skills to have a vital role in their Correct your spelling
significant
lives
. In other words
, when people
spend their money
to take courses to educate themselves, that would give them opportunites
around the world to work at international companies, and Correct your spelling
opportunities
this
will boost their lives
. A prime example is that
"Jordan",many young Correct word choice
apply
people
who improved their technology skills by taking various courses and degrees to work over the seas. Thus
, consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
money
for learning is a big investment for any person and it is better than save
Wrong verb form
saving
the
Correct article usage
apply
money
.
Second,
parchising
modern Correct your spelling
purchasing
practising
machains
to Correct your spelling
machines
safe
Replace the word
save
time
and effort is not wast
of Correct your spelling
waste
money
. This
means if people
spend extra money
to have these machines, that would rais
their quality of Correct your spelling
raise
lives
. Fix the agreement mistake
life
For instance
, when familes
are having a washing machine that would help Correct your spelling
families
people
to reduce time
of house works and use Add an article
the time
this
time
to relax or spend a
quality Correct article usage
apply
time
with heir
children. Correct your spelling
their
Therefore
, what can be said is that utilize
Wrong verb form
utilising
money
to enhance Add an article
the money
the
Correct article usage
a
person
life is valuable.
In conclusion, Change noun form
person's
after
this
essay has manifasted
the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that spending Correct your spelling
manifested
money
to improve people
Change noun form
people's
lives
has many beneficial impact
.Change to a plural noun
impacts
Morever
, I am Correct your spelling
Moreover
conveinced
that using Correct your spelling
convinced
money
waisly
to have a Correct your spelling
wisely
signaficant
life and Correct your spelling
significant
invaluable
.Add a missing verb
is invaluable
Submitted by k.mukdadi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!