IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Essay topics: Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However,other people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#topics #people #zoos #animals
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The
zoo
Use synonyms
always
Add a missing verb
is always
show examples
atractive
Correct your spelling
attractive
for
Change preposition
to
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 people, especially
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 children. Some individuals consider that zoos are
harsh
Add an article
a harsh
the harsh
show examples
 place for
animals
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 believe that zoological gardens are profitable for rare
animals
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will discuss both sides of
this
Linking Words
 issue and will include my own viewpoint.
First,
Linking Words
zoo
Use synonyms
 parks are the place where people can provide
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 time with their children and loved ones.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, children learn
abour
Correct your spelling
about
animals
Use synonyms
theoreticaly
Correct your spelling
theoretically
 at
schools
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school
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 and
coming
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by coming
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at
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
zoo
Add an article
the zoo
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 they can see
animals
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 closely.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some animal breeds are going to die out.
For instance
Linking Words
,
chita
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Chita
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 and lions extinct
last
Linking Words
 decades. Keeping them in the
zoo
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 can save their
life
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 and living in the
zoo
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 can be useful for
animals
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.
Zoo
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 employees can provide them with food and at the same time the
veterenarians
Correct your spelling
veterinarians
veterinarian
 can help weak
animals
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. Turning to the other side of the argument, some people claim that
animals
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 should be in
natural
Correct pronoun usage
their natural
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 habitat.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they believe that keeping
animals
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 cases can shorten their
life
Use synonyms
 and
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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life
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 real home for
itselves
Correct your spelling
itself
.
Besides
Linking Words
, animal lovers think that, cases at
zoo
Use synonyms
 parks
limite
Correct your spelling
limit
Use synonyms
animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
show examples
 freedom.
To conclude
Linking Words
 all
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
mentiond
Correct your spelling
mentioned
, in my opinion,
zoo
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 gardens can protect
animals
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 from hunting and prolong their
life
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. In
Linking Words
additionally
Replace the word
addition
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, kids can see
animals
Use synonyms
 closely.
However
Linking Words
,
zoo
Use synonyms
 garden workers should take into consideration all about
Use synonyms
animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
show examples
 environment.
Submitted by nargiz.nagiyeva0101 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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