Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic,social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures

There are plenty of problems relative to

children

For example

,teens are coming across more physical forces from educational,communal and trade positions.

This

essay intends to discuss the causes of these pressures and

suggest

Change the verb form

suggests

show examples

some measures to alleviate the problem. I hope that

children

must be

defensed

Correct your spelling

defended

from

such

increase

Replace the word

increased

show examples

pressures. There are many instructional stress on

youngs

Correct your spelling

young

show examples

.Today,every

parents

want their

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cards

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

stacked in

childrenʼs

Correct pronoun usage

their childrenʼs

show examples

favour in every field.And they think sending their

children

to the best schools,where the schools

are control

Change the verb form

are controlled

show examples

all-embracing.

Then

children

do not release depth depression

Change preposition

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

occasions.And teens do not

their

Add a missing verb

have their

show examples

talents.

Besides

, teenagers have community and private enterprise positions. Nowadays problems

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are

increase

Wrong verb form

increasing

show examples

among

children

relative to

this

For instance

teen

Fix the agreement mistake

teens

show examples

purchase a new phone and other

children

want

getting

Change the verb form

to get

show examples

this

telephone but when they are unable to do so,they get stressed. To tackle

this

problem

parents

should have practical supposition from their

children

In addition

,teachers should

also

be responsible for the behaviour of students at school.

For example

,each student should be treated

according to

his character. If the

studentʼs

Correct your spelling

student's

words of

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

classmates or teachers have a bad effect on the student,the child may become depressed. In conclusion,

children

face many challenges at the same time.

Children

should be trained for any situation by

parents

.My view is that

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

responsibility for solving the issue lies with

parents

Correct article usage

the parents

show examples

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Mon May 15 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

222 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic pressure
globalized world
competitive education system
social media influences
cyberbullying
commercial pressures
aggressive marketing
materialistic desires
peer pressure
high expectations
standardized testing
quantifiable performance
stress and anxiety
extracurricular achievements

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Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic,social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people are choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?

Although many people value public parks, some argue that this space could be better utilized for residential developments or businesses to support the growing population and boost the economy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?