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Band 7

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatment instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you thingk this is positive or nagative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatment #doctors #thingk #nagative #development
These days, the public relies on various medicines and abuses
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 because a lot of pills have been coming up and they do not think that they have to meet doctors necessarily to cure their body problems. I believe that there are several issues and
this
 is not the right method to treat them. I will present my opinions and make a conclusion
at the end
.
To begin
 with, professors are concerned that If ordinary
people
 use drugs simply without the advice of experts from scratch, they would get acute complications like heart disease, dementia and amnesia.
This
 is because we do not have any professional knowledge and how it is dangerous for us in terms of
one
.
For example
, there is a sleeping
pill
 that everyone gets
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the pharmacy without a description of the doctors in Korea. Even though most
people
 with sleep disabilities take it,
one
 is enrolled in a significant risk
pill
 at the oversea pharmacy community. Most
people
 who take it suffered from severe dizziness and overeating symptoms, even memory loss in many times.
As a result
, If we want to get a safe
pill
 for our health, we should discuss it with wise doctors.
In addition
, experts can catch our diseases with patient explanations of symptoms, which is overlooked by normal
people
,
however
, medics can notice it straightforwardly.
For instance
,
one
 of my friends had simple signals of the body like a sneeze for a
while
 and a small mass from her neck, which would progress to a large disease because she just tried to take a
pill
 and neglected
this
 thing.
While
one
 of the
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
show examples
 of the pharmacy realized that it could be the start of a problematic disease and she could get an operation.
Consequently
, only taking pills can cause a sustainable healthy problem and it is not an accurate prescription for us. In conclusion,
although
 we can handle several illnesses with efficient medicines, we can not alleviate other complicated things.
Submitted by daye9114 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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