IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#countries #shops #products #consider #development
Globalisation can be witnessed in every sector of
this
 world.
Thus
, the majority of retailer inlets from various countries trade in similar commodities. There is always a conflicting view regarding
this
 similarity among the purchasers.
This
 essay
shed
Wrong verb form
sheds
show examples
 light
upon
Correct pronoun usage
upon this
show examples
. Ramification and benefits for customers
along with
 my perspective. First and foremost. Is it advantageous
for allocating
Change preposition
to allocate
show examples
 more alternatives to consumers? Of course yes. More specifically, if
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
 item is available
I
Change preposition
in I
show examples
different brand,
then
 buyers can compare their features, cost and durability. Ultimately, they can buy suitable
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 for themselves.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 Iphone company is trading almost
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every corner of Earth and its sale is
noticably
Correct your spelling
noticeably
 higher than other products accessible in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 is
due to
 its more feasible functions. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 practice is possible with
import
Correct article usage
the import
show examples
export
Correct word choice
or export
show examples
 of commodities and it
also
strengthen
Change the verb form
strengthens
show examples
 the bond between nations.
In contrast
, there are several inevitable consequences of selling
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 items at various shops
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 distinct continents. It may have
menace
Correct article usage
a menace
show examples
 impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the local identity of
product
Add an article
the product
a product
show examples
. These goods
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their authenticity because companies commence to make duplicates of these products and
hence
, the customers become
victim
Fix the agreement mistake
victims
show examples
 of fraud. To epitome, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local shops in India sell
cosmetic
Fix the agreement mistake
cosmetics
show examples
 at cheap rates under the famous brand MaC. But, their items are none other than duplicates of original ones.
Hence
, the potential
frauds
Fix the agreement mistake
fraud
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to in favour
international
Change preposition
of international
show examples
 products in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
regions.
To conclude
, there are several benefits and limitations of globalisation in
trade
Add an article
the trade
show examples
 market, but still the advantages
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
outweigh its disadvantages because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it sender enormous choices to the purchasers.
Submitted by pawanthind419 on

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task response
The essay shows some relevant ideas but lacks depth in discussion and fails to fully address the prompt. There is a need for a better structure and organizational pattern to present the ideas effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and coherence. The use of transitions to connect ideas and paragraphs is limited, leading to an unclear organization of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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