Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

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it is believed by some that a huge amount of time and money should be spent on protecting wild creatures,
while
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others think the human
population
Use synonyms
are more important to focus on.
Thus
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, I certainly believe by preserving the wild animal's habitat will affect simultaneously
to
Change preposition
apply
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the human
population
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as well.
Environment
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is indeed paramount
these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
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,
many
Correct word choice
and many
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government and
non profit
Add a hyphen
non-profit
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organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
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raising
voices
Correct pronoun usage
their voices
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and
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
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on animal conservation.
To begin
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with,
animals
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are essential
on
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in
show examples
Use synonyms
food
Correct article usage
the food
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chain cycle,
however
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, human activities threaten animal's existence
on
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature, it is clearly seen
due to
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mining activities, agriculture and illegal hunting lead to some species
are
Wrong verb form
being
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endangered or even extinct.
Thus
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, advocating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
animals
Change to a genitive case
animal's
animals'
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conservation through funding and
voluntary
Replace the word
volunteering
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will assist biodiversity and sustainability,
as a
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result
Add the comma(s)
,result
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environment
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will provide mankind
basic
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with basic
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needs
such
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as
food
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more sustain in the long run.
On the other hand
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, human
population
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problems are
also
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soaring over the years and become more complicated ,especially in the city.
In addition
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, developing and undeveloped countries had allocated their expense and time to solve problems in
a human populations
Correct the article-noun agreement
a human population
human populations
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such
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as homeless,
food
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deficiency, education, and health care system, I would argue it is
also
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important because it will help their citizen well being and welfare.
Although
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human problems
is
Change the verb form
are
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taken the main priority, we can not put aside the nature
life
Replace the word
living
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environment
Use synonyms
because conservating the
environment
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and wild
animals
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may impact human health by having good air quality and
food
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availability.
Thus
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, expenditure on the human
population
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and
animals
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must be balanced. To summarize, raising more money and time to protect wild
animal's
Change noun form
animals
show examples
conservation,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
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provides numerous benefits for human
population
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issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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such
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as
food
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availability and a good
environment
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to live in, thereforetherefore, I strongly agree both benefits will be taken if we focus on protecting
wildlife
Correct article usage
the wildlife
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem stability
  • pollination
  • water purification
  • climate regulation
  • eco-tourism
  • scientific research
  • moral and ethical responsibility
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • financial cost
  • social issues
  • healthcare
  • education
  • fund allocation
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