Some people think that government should not spend money on sports stadium and building theatres. Instead it should spend more money on education. Do you gree or disgree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Education should be prioritized to acquire more money from the
government
Use synonyms
before
sports
Use synonyms
stadiums and building
theatres
Use synonyms
, thought some
people
Use synonyms
. I truly believe that it is of equal importance because
sports
Use synonyms
and
art
Use synonyms
places encourage
people
Use synonyms
to have positive health that leads to better study,
as well as
Linking Words
providing a space for
people
Use synonyms
who have a talent in an
art
Use synonyms
term, which is one part of learning. The most crucial reason why
sports
Use synonyms
stadium
Fix the agreement mistake
stadiums
show examples
and
theatres
Use synonyms
are the places that a
government
Use synonyms
should give a value as equal
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
these
area
Change the determiner
areas
show examples
provide accessibility for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
to get better health both mentality and physicality. When
people
Use synonyms
have many public spaces for
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise, enjoying a movie, or spending time with their family, a relaxed feeling
Add a missing verb
is release
show examples
release
Replace the word
released
show examples
, resulting in
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
healthier and urging their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
absorbing
Change the verb form
to absorb
show examples
knowledge greater.
For example
Linking Words
, a working man has to study after work,
with
Correct word choice
and with
show examples
stress and pressure that he has faced all day
affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
show examples
him can not focus or remember what he studied.
As a result
Linking Words
, he can not improve his ability if he does not overcome his fatigue. The
sports
Use synonyms
field and the
theatres
Use synonyms
are the alternative choices for healing
people
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and are
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of
factors
Correct article usage
the factors
show examples
to improve their learning. Another reason for a
government
Use synonyms
should balance the spending between education and
art
Use synonyms
,
sports
Use synonyms
places and
theatres
Use synonyms
, is
giving
Change the verb form
to give
show examples
an
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
for some groups which have a talent
skill
Use synonyms
of
art
Use synonyms
more than
academic
Add an article
an academic
show examples
discipline. Even though most of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
likely
persure
Correct your spelling
pursue
pressure
a certificate of science because
a
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
social value, there are
another type
Fix the agreement mistake
other types
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
that has passionate about
sports
Use synonyms
or drama acting. Equivalent options for every kind of population should be supported by the
government
Use synonyms
, because, when they develop
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
in their own passion, it means a country is
driving
Wrong verb form
driven
show examples
forward by the capability of these
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a representative of the country, no matter which term of
skill
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
raise
Correct subject-verb agreement
raises
show examples
the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
reputation.
Thus
Linking Words
the cinema and
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
area are the place for some
people
Use synonyms
can
practice
Correct your spelling
practise
show examples
their skills,
as well as
Linking Words
probably being their working place in the future. In conclusion, the
government
Use synonyms
should provide
equally
Change the word
equal
show examples
money for both academic
site
Change to a plural noun
sites
show examples
and are
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
because
sports
Use synonyms
stadium
Fix the agreement mistake
stadiums
show examples
and
theatres
Use synonyms
are the place, which
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
people
Use synonyms
have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good health that
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
smarter,
as well as
Linking Words
giving
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
value
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
some
people
Use synonyms
who have a talent
skill
Use synonyms
of
art
Use synonyms
as equal as
people
Use synonyms
who have an academic
skill
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by chonticha.karnj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate funds
  • opportunity cost
  • social equity
  • public services
  • economic growth
  • scholarships
  • qualified teachers
  • innovation
  • entrepreneurship
  • alleviation of poverty
  • informed workforce
  • potential benefits
  • immediate economic stimuli
  • privileged segment
  • government spending
What to do next:
Look at other essays: