Some people say that young people should be encouraged to leave home when they become adults while others claim it would be better to remain with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, parents think that their children after getting 18 years old, should leave the house,
whereas
others argue, that it is worth staying and living in their families. In fact, it is quite better when children will leave their houses as soon as they become adults because of
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
and self-development. In
this
essay, there will be given some statements
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
dilemma and have own thinking. First of all, it is not a secret, that responsibility is
cultivating
Wrong verb form
cultivated
show examples
when you do something yourself.
For example
,
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
you were given an important task in your job, it is much better when you do it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
time.
Also
, you do whatever and whenever you want, without any limitations, that belongs to benefits
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
contemporary people.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
vital thing to mention, is that self-development is improving, especially when you do not need
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
help from anyone. Not only in moral and
phychological
Correct your spelling
psychological
directions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
in financial situation, that makes you more financially literate and you earn money yourself,
whithout
Correct your spelling
without
asking your parents or relatives and start spending money usefully.
To sum up
, if your parents want you to be more accountable, it is undoubtedly better, when you encourage your apartments as soon as you become
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
show examples
, than when you keep living with your family. If you want to be financially literate and develop your skills in earning money, you have to progress in
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
direction.
Submitted by zhdanova_veronik on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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