IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that young people should be encouraged to leave home when they become adults while others claim it would be better to remain with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #home #adults
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Nowadays, parents think that their children after getting 18 years old, should leave the house,
whereas
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 others argue, that it is worth staying and living in their families. In fact, it is quite better when children will leave their houses as soon as they become adults because of
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 and self-development. In
this
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 essay, there will be given some statements
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
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 dilemma and have own thinking. First of all, it is not a secret, that responsibility is
cultivating
Wrong verb form
cultivated
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 when you do something yourself.
For example
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,
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while
Correct word choice
when
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 you were given an important task in your job, it is much better when you do it
in
Change preposition
on
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 time.
Also
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, you do whatever and whenever you want, without any limitations, that belongs to benefits
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
contemporary people.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
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 vital thing to mention, is that self-development is improving, especially when you do not need
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
help from anyone. Not only in moral and
phychological
Correct your spelling
psychological
 directions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
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 in financial situation, that makes you more financially literate and you earn money yourself,
whithout
Correct your spelling
without
 asking your parents or relatives and start spending money usefully.
To sum up
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, if your parents want you to be more accountable, it is undoubtedly better, when you encourage your apartments as soon as you become
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
show examples
, than when you keep living with your family. If you want to be financially literate and develop your skills in earning money, you have to progress in
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 direction.
Submitted by zhdanova_veronik on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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