IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many developing countries place a lot of importance on tourism.Why is this? Do you think is it positive or negative?

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Admittedly,
tourism
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important sources of income for developing
countries
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. Yet, some of these
countries
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 put excessive focus on
tourism
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.
First,
Linking Words
the reasons for
this
Linking Words
 extra tendency should be addressed.
Moreover
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, in my perspective, too much dependence can have counter-benefits. Most notably, since
tourism
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 is the easiest and fastest way for
countries
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 to earn
money
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 in
this
Linking Words
 way, and they can see the results of development in the shortest
time
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,
therefore
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 it is usually the first choice for developing
countries
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in comparison with the car industry, they can develop the recreation areas in the
country
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 in the lowest possible
time
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. And Attract an array of tourists from different parts of the world.
As a result
Linking Words
, they spend less energy,
time
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 and
money
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.
As a result
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, they improve the economic aspect of the
country
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.
On the other hand
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, the counter benefit of
this
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 tendency is that possessing saul
money
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 makes for a
country
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 can be challenging in times of crisis
such
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 as world pandemics, drought or even war.
For instance
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, Iran has invested too much
money
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 in
tourism
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 for several years now. Yet, in recent years
due to
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 many political restrictions from foreign societies, the government have been lost the opportunity for tourist attraction. And tourists' tendency is declined over
time
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.
As well as
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this
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, the climate changes in Iran and the lack of rain in some tourist areas dropped Greenlands.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
country
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 has lost its main source of income.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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