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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet while others believe that nothing can replace physical classrooms with direct guidance from teachers.Discuss both views( and give your own opinion).

It is argued that some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people claim
children
Use synonyms
 should not attend
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 anymore because of getting necessary information on the
Use synonyms
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 others think that
schools
Use synonyms
 are more important than the
Use synonyms
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 being physical
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
. In my opinion, going to school for
pupils
Use synonyms
 is
beneficial
Correct quantifier usage
more beneficial
show examples
 effect than online education. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
Correct article usage
the effectively
show examples
effectively
Change the word
effective
show examples
 side of the education of attending
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 compared with online institutions and provide relevant examples from my experience. Nowadays, numerous
children
Use synonyms
 are going to
schools
Use synonyms
 in order to study different subjects from their
teachers
Use synonyms
. Indeed, going to
schools
Use synonyms
 so as to educate
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the most important and useful for
children
Use synonyms
. First of all, whether youngsters attend
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school, they learn effectively from their
teachers
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if
pupils
Use synonyms
 cannot understand something
with
Change preposition
about
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 the subject they will ask
teachers
Use synonyms
 to help them
how
Change preposition
with how
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 to do the exercises.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
teachers
Use synonyms
 instruct face to face to
pupils
Use synonyms
 because of being undesirable.
However
Linking Words
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people believe that they do not need to
Use synonyms
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 anymore
due to
Linking Words
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Use synonyms
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
show examples
.
Children
Use synonyms
 can get
necessary
Add an article
the necessary
show examples
 information for their subjects on the
internet
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, they think that
children
Use synonyms
 should learn on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
websites
instead
Linking Words
 of
teachers
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the one hand, you can find all of
available
Add an article
the available
show examples
 information that you need.
The
Change preposition
On the
show examples
 other hand if
pupils
Use synonyms
 are at the lesson at school they are able to discuss
theme
Correct article usage
the theme
show examples
 that they give. The discussion lesson is interesting and beneficial for them. Nothing can replace
physically
Change the word
physical
show examples
 classrooms though. In conclusion, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals say that presently
schools
Use synonyms
 are not more important than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
websites.
Children
Use synonyms
 ought to learn
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their subjects on the
Use synonyms
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
show examples
. Others believe that classrooms are useful for
children
Use synonyms
. I
am completely claim
Change the verb form
am completely claiming
show examples
 that
schools
Use synonyms
 are necessary for
children
Use synonyms
.

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