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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. why is that the cause? Should they be encouraged to utilise their free time in a better way?

#pastime #people #utilise #time
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Spending money to buy something interesting is the most popular activity of youngsters. Typically they do that in their leisure
time
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 and they should manage their
time
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 in a positive way. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss what are the reasons, and give possible suggestions to manage their spare
time
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 more useful. Nowadays, through the digitalisation era, the increasing desire to shop for young people gets easier. The Internet supports people to do local or international transactions around the world. Indeed, through their smartphones and even in their home, they do not need much
time
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 to go to the shopping malls for purchasing.
As a result
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, many young society do not utilise their
time
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 wisely, and some of them are being consumptive.
In addition
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, teenagers have to optimize their
time
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 to enhance their knowledge and skills.
Besides
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 studying in school, other skills are really needed to gain experience, and they can do
in
Correct pronoun usage
this in
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 their free
time
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 or during holidays. By utilising their free
time
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 in a better way, like taking a foreign language course, joining a music or dance class, or working part-
time
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 in a restaurant, they get more experiences rather than shopping.
Hence
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, adolescents have a bigger chance to get a job easier in the future. To encourage youngsters, both their parents and schools have to collaborate to limit their free
time
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 by providing some activities to do.
For instance
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, schools give homework to make an environmental project and it can be finished in a team and enhanced parents to solve it. In that way, it is hoped student use their leisure
time
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 optimally. In sum,
although
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 shopping is
the
Correct article usage
an
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 activity that people can not neglect youngsters, the community can encourage them to minimize it. Both parents and schools have a commitment to making their teenagers of good quality.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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