despite huge improvements in healthcare , the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now failing what could be the reason for this trend and what can be done to reserve it.

#improvements #healthcare #health #countries #reason #trend #reserve

Although

there are big improvements in health sectors.

However

, the physical health of many people is worse in many developed nations.

This

essay discusses the main causes of

this

issue and some possible solutions to overcome the problem in subsequent paragraphs. There is no doubt scientists invented different medications and precautionary methods to improve the

overall

strength of society.

Nevertheless

,on average the health of an individual is not good. There are several reasons behind

this

issue. First and foremost, the reason is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

lifestyle of an individual. To elaborate, nowadays because of sedentary behaviour people are working from home and do not have any physical activity, which leads to obesity and other health-related issues.

This

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

in more stress and

deteriorate

Correct subject-verb agreement

deteriorates

show examples

the well-being of a person.

Moreover

, the eating habits of society are not good.

In other words

, both parents work hard to earn money.

Hence

they do not have enough time to cook

food

at home and eat junk

food

and ready-to-eat

food

, which makes them unhealthy and obese.

On the contrary

, despite having myriad problems in an unhealthy society there are some remedies to overcome

this

issue.

Firstly

, people should take care of their personal well-being by balancing their personal and professional

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. They need to schedule their working hours and start doing some physical activity which will not only assist them to stay physically fit but

also

relieve their stress

due to

working overtime.

Furthermore

, there is a need to change eating habits like avoiding junk

food

and preparing healthy meals at home. so that it does not harm their well-being. To cite an example, a survey conducted by the

central bureau

Correct your spelling

Central Bureau

show examples

in America in the year 2022 over 5 million population found that citizens of that country were fitter because they had a better lifestyle and eat healthy diets.

To conclude

, indeed there are many problems arising in developed nations because of unhealthy diets and sedentary lifestyles.

Besides

this

can be solved by having a better lifestyle and consuming healthy meals.

Submitted by jazz on Wed May 17 2023

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task response

Task response: The essay covers the causes of declining physical health in developed countries and suggests solutions. It presents a clear position and supports it with examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more specific to the topic and the ideas could be more focused on the causes and solutions of the issue.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: The essay has a logical structure and presents a clear sequence of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion are weak and need improvement. Additionally, the essay could benefit from stronger topic sentences and better transition words to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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despite huge improvements in healthcare , the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now failing what could be the reason for this trend and what can be done to reserve it.

Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree

Many feel that students today should learn practical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do you Agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money ? Give reasons for your answer.

Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money that they make because of their positive effects on society. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

Nowadays there is a growing shift towards the use of cashless transactions. While some people argue in support of a cashless society, claiming that it is beneficial to citizens, others raise concerns about security. Which side of this argument do you, personally, agree with, and why?