despite huge improvements in healthcare , the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now failing what could be the reason for this trend and what can be done to reserve it.
Although
there are big improvements in health sectors. However
, the physical health of many people is worse in many developed nations. This
essay discusses the main causes of this
issue and some possible solutions to overcome the problem in subsequent paragraphs.
There is no doubt scientists invented different medications and precautionary methods to improve the overall
strength of society. Nevertheless
,on average the health of an individual is not good. There are several reasons behind this
issue. First and foremost, the reason is a
lifestyle of an individual. To elaborate, nowadays because of sedentary behaviour people are working from home and do not have any physical activity, which leads to obesity and other health-related issues. Correct article usage
the
This
result
in more stress and Correct subject-verb agreement
results
deteriorate
the well-being of a person. Correct subject-verb agreement
deteriorates
Moreover
, the eating habits of society are not good. In other words
, both parents work hard to earn money. Hence
they do not have enough time to cook food
at home and eat junk food
and ready-to-eat food
, which makes them unhealthy and obese.
On the contrary
, despite having myriad problems in an unhealthy society there are some remedies to overcome this
issue. Firstly
, people should take care of their personal well-being by balancing their personal and professional life
. They need to schedule their working hours and start doing some physical activity which will not only assist them to stay physically fit but Fix the agreement mistake
lives
also
relieve their stress due to
working overtime. Furthermore
, there is a need to change eating habits like avoiding junk food
and preparing healthy meals at home. so that it does not harm their well-being. To cite an example, a survey conducted by the central bureau
in America in the year 2022 over 5 million population found that citizens of that country were fitter because they had a better lifestyle and eat healthy diets.
Correct your spelling
Central Bureau
To conclude
, indeed there are many problems arising in developed nations because of unhealthy diets and sedentary lifestyles. Besides
this
can be solved by having a better lifestyle and consuming healthy meals.Submitted by jazz
on
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task response
Task response: The essay covers the causes of declining physical health in developed countries and suggests solutions. It presents a clear position and supports it with examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more specific to the topic and the ideas could be more focused on the causes and solutions of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay has a logical structure and presents a clear sequence of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion are weak and need improvement. Additionally, the essay could benefit from stronger topic sentences and better transition words to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
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