despite huge improvements in healthcare , the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now failing what could be the reason for this trend and what can be done to reserve it.

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Although
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there are big improvements in health sectors.
However
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, the physical health of many people is worse in many developed nations.
This
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essay discusses the main causes of
this
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issue and some possible solutions to overcome the problem in subsequent paragraphs. There is no doubt scientists invented different medications and precautionary methods to improve the
overall
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strength of society.
Nevertheless
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,on average the health of an individual is not good. There are several reasons behind
this
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issue. First and foremost, the reason is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
lifestyle of an individual. To elaborate, nowadays because of sedentary behaviour people are working from home and do not have any physical activity, which leads to obesity and other health-related issues.
This
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result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
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in more stress and
deteriorate
Correct subject-verb agreement
deteriorates
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the well-being of a person.
Moreover
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, the eating habits of society are not good.
In other words
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, both parents work hard to earn money.
Hence
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they do not have enough time to cook
food
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at home and eat junk
food
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and ready-to-eat
food
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, which makes them unhealthy and obese.
On the contrary
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, despite having myriad problems in an unhealthy society there are some remedies to overcome
this
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issue.
Firstly
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, people should take care of their personal well-being by balancing their personal and professional
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. They need to schedule their working hours and start doing some physical activity which will not only assist them to stay physically fit but
also
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relieve their stress
due to
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working overtime.
Furthermore
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, there is a need to change eating habits like avoiding junk
food
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and preparing healthy meals at home. so that it does not harm their well-being. To cite an example, a survey conducted by the
central bureau
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Central Bureau
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in America in the year 2022 over 5 million population found that citizens of that country were fitter because they had a better lifestyle and eat healthy diets.
To conclude
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, indeed there are many problems arising in developed nations because of unhealthy diets and sedentary lifestyles.
Besides
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this
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can be solved by having a better lifestyle and consuming healthy meals.
Submitted by jazz on

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task response
Task response: The essay covers the causes of declining physical health in developed countries and suggests solutions. It presents a clear position and supports it with examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more specific to the topic and the ideas could be more focused on the causes and solutions of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay has a logical structure and presents a clear sequence of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion are weak and need improvement. Additionally, the essay could benefit from stronger topic sentences and better transition words to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
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