People should be at least 21 years old before they are allowed to drive a car. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is no doubt that people love to

drive

cars

due to

their convenience and privacy. Driving vehicles is a huge responsibility,

therefore

, the age factor plays a crucial role when applying for a driving license. A segment of society tends to believe that only individuals above 21 years of age should be allowed to

drive

cars, and I completely agree with

this

belief. In

this

essay, I will support my view with suitable examples.

To begin

with,

although

driving a car looks like an easy job,

however

, there are a couple of rules to be followed. Whenever individuals take highway routes, they should

drive

properly in order to maintain the safety of others

as well as

of themselves.

For instance

, the speed limit, which is usually set for the busiest roads, helps riders to avoid unfortunate accidents.

Conversely

, teenagers usually fail to abide by the rules and might

drive

rashly.

Furthermore

, drivers should be completely aware of precautionary steps to be taken in case of casualties. They should have an idea about how to implement these steps.

In addition

this

, they should be responsible for their actions and act on them immediately. To elaborate, if the brakes of a car fail

then

the driver should have proactively thought about the alternative solutions.

On the other hand

, youngsters are often not that much mature and they probably would not be prepared for the worst-case scenarios.

To sum up

, people under the age of 21 may not understand road safety policies,

hence

, they could not follow them.

Moreover

, they might lack the ability to take on various responsibilities, so they should be restricted from driving cars.

Submitted by anjalipatel2705 on Wed May 17 2023

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task response

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay, using appropriate linking words and cohesive devices.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People should be at least 21 years old before they are allowed to drive a car. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people thinks computer games have negative impacts on children.To what extent do you agreee or disagree ?

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