Nowadays some countries encourage people to buy more and more products, which is good for economy. While others believe it is bad for the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #people #products #economy #society

In these

Change preposition

These

show examples

days, some

people

argue that buying more and more consumer goods is beneficial for the economy.

While

other

people

discuss that

this

phenomenon brings many drawbacks for

society

, I personally believe that it will damage

society

. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why consuming many products is good for the economy.

Firstly

, it provides more job opportunities for local

people

, as buyers spend a large amount of money on shopping.

This

would lead to making more profits for factories and expanding their business.

As a result

, companies will need more human resources, which not only reduces unemployment rates but

also

make significant contributions to their country's economic growth.

Secondly

, when companies make more money, governments can have more tax revenues.

This

would solve economic issues ,especially rising inflation and poverty alleviation.

On the other hand

, I believe that

this

development is detrimental to

society

. The first reason is that if

people

are encouraged to buy things that they do not really need, they would struggle financially because of their bad spending habits. When financial pressure is too great, they are more likely to suffer from various mental health problems

such

as depression, and anxiety disorders. These

people

might be a burden to their families and even their

society

. The second one is that

this

development cause environmental damage, as more facilities and factories are built to serve more shopping needs.

This

can have an adverse impact on surrounding residential areas

due to

the carbon dioxide emissions from industry.

For example

, China is very successful in economic growth when they convinced their citizens to buy a lot of consumer products,

however

, the air quality in China is alarming because of many factories, which make

people

suffer from respiratory illnesses. In conclusion,

although

it is beneficial for the economy when the government encourage spending,

this

idea brings many disadvantages for

society

, especially health and the environment

Submitted by lamminhkhoi2312 on Wed May 17 2023

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays some countries encourage people to buy more and more products, which is good for economy. While others believe it is bad for the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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